Why Am I Still Single?
I have been asked that annoying question too many times that I practically lost count. There’s this guy who checked out my friendster account before and asked the same thing…don’t you think it’s kinda off to ask that question to a perfect stranger?!
I have a lot of reasons on why I stay single and if only these people knew the hell that I’ve been through…I doubt if they would dare ask that question again!
I get the same thing every time there’s a family gathering…don’t they have better things to do than bother me with this nonsense?!
Okay so here’s my pathetic excuse…
I thought I was going to be married at a very young age…say right after finishing school. But I thought wrong. I thought my first boy friend would be my last since I always thought that we had it made, that we will soon wed. But the odds were against us that is why we had to part ways...then years had pass things got even more complicated thus sealed our fate. We can never be together…ever again!
Then the year after that incident something happened that changed my perspective in life forever…it made me so afraid to trust myself with anyone…even harder to trust myself. Imagine finding out that everything you had everything you believed in turned out to be all lies…
Bitterness…
I lived my life like a clown. Smiling, sparkling personality on the outside hiding the dark ominous cloud inside. People would come up to me and tell me that I’m very lucky since they don’t see me being troubled or bothered by the daily bullshit that life brings…that’s what they all thought. They see me as the happy girl who doesn’t have any care in the world but the next anime series that she wanted to watch…or the next record that she wanted to buy…they didn’t know of this crushing loneliness that is slowly consuming my entire being.
I chose to be single because all the things that I have been through… made me want to keep my heart with a lock and no key. I still allow myself to like someone though…but I have decided to say no to love.
I have been asked that annoying question too many times that I practically lost count. There’s this guy who checked out my friendster account before and asked the same thing…don’t you think it’s kinda off to ask that question to a perfect stranger?!
I have a lot of reasons on why I stay single and if only these people knew the hell that I’ve been through…I doubt if they would dare ask that question again!
I get the same thing every time there’s a family gathering…don’t they have better things to do than bother me with this nonsense?!
Okay so here’s my pathetic excuse…
I thought I was going to be married at a very young age…say right after finishing school. But I thought wrong. I thought my first boy friend would be my last since I always thought that we had it made, that we will soon wed. But the odds were against us that is why we had to part ways...then years had pass things got even more complicated thus sealed our fate. We can never be together…ever again!
Then the year after that incident something happened that changed my perspective in life forever…it made me so afraid to trust myself with anyone…even harder to trust myself. Imagine finding out that everything you had everything you believed in turned out to be all lies…
Bitterness…
I lived my life like a clown. Smiling, sparkling personality on the outside hiding the dark ominous cloud inside. People would come up to me and tell me that I’m very lucky since they don’t see me being troubled or bothered by the daily bullshit that life brings…that’s what they all thought. They see me as the happy girl who doesn’t have any care in the world but the next anime series that she wanted to watch…or the next record that she wanted to buy…they didn’t know of this crushing loneliness that is slowly consuming my entire being.
I chose to be single because all the things that I have been through… made me want to keep my heart with a lock and no key. I still allow myself to like someone though…but I have decided to say no to love.
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