An Open Letter From A Very Concerned Citizen.

Dear You,

I’m going to make this short. I won’t be beating around the bush anymore. But before anything else let me just point out that you made me do this.

There are some things that I wanted to bring to your attention. It has been bugging me for weeks now and I really think you ought to know.

Are you ashamed of me?

Humiliated to be seen with me?

You act like you’re in love with me but only when we are alone in a crowd or whenever we are with my friends. How come you don’t act the same whenever we are with your friends? How come you never introduce me to your friends in the first place? Every time we bump into them you act as if I wasn’t even there. What the hell is up with that?

How come I never see myself in your “Featured Friends” when I’m supposed to be in them if not the top of your list, the only one in your list? Okay I know that one may sound so immature but why not?! Don’t I deserve to be there?

I am not an insecure person before you knew me and I know that even if I am not perfect I don’t have any reason to doubt myself. But you are making me feel inferior and I’m starting to despise myself.

I want you to let the whole world to know about “us”. I want you to do it soon if you can not do it now. Please do it soon for I don’t want to live in doubt. I will not wait for you to do it so please just do it soon.

You keep on telling me that you love me but is it just a show? I want the world to know or you’re leaving me no choice but to let you go.

I will not wait…no.

Love,
Your girlfriend.

Sadistic Love

How can it be that the one who’s making me smile
The one who’s been giving me all these happy thoughts
The one I decided to love
Is the one who’s been giving me so much pain?

How can you be the source of my happiness and still
Can cause so much rain
I don’t know if I could still stand loving you
I don’t know if it’s even right to be with you

How can you sleep at night knowing that I’m hurting?
Dying with this pain, I’m dying with so much pain
I don’t know if I could still go on loving you
I don’t know if I could still make it through

Everyday I find myself faking a smile for you
Nothing is okay between us but you are just too blind
To even notice that I am dying with this pain
So much grief and suffering I’m sick of walking in the rain

But it’s amazing what love can do to you
It almost had the same effect as you do
Although right now I am very disappointed in you
I’m sure I could never leave you

Maybe that is why you keep on hurting me
Knowing that you will always have me
Well maybe that is the case for now
Maybe loving you is all I could do for now

But someday soon I could set myself free from you
Soon I’ll break free from these shackles forged just for me
By you and your selfish ways I will soon be free from unhappiness
From all the grief and pain you’ve caused me.

My Sweetest Downfall

Wait a minute, can I talk to you for a second

Slow down, there is no need to fight

No need to scream I could hear you loud & clear

I don’t want another fight

Another eventful night

Are you listening thru the angry words you say?

So you really want it to be this way?

Slow down, I’m not going anywhere

Staying right here

I will be here

Calm down cry as much as you want

Hit me with all you’ve got

I am not angry

I can never stand being angry

Not with you, no not with you

I will wait until you’re through

Throw punches in the air

Please blame me for everything

Cry as much as you want

I will catch them all

I will patiently wait

Even if you don’t want to talk

I will be right here

Always right here

I will never leave you.

Annie's Lament

It has been a while since we’ve talked

I haven’t seen your pretty face for a while now

But I am not sad

In fact it was my decision not to talk to you

Because I don’t want to

I thought we are something special

But I guess I thought wrong

I didn’t ask for anything

So why are you giving me so much pain?

Never, ever asked for this

I thought you’re somebody I could trust

I was trusting you

Willingly, opening up to you

Setting aside the things that I fear

Only for you, just for you

Every thing seemed fine at first

I almost fell for it

I was happy then being a part of you

My saving grace

But why did you slam the door on my face?

Unwanted

album: Let Go (2002),
My World (DVD + CD) (2003)


All that I did was walk over, start off by shaking your hand
That's how it went
I had a smile on my face and I sat up straight

Oh, yeah, yeah
I wanted to know ya
I wanted to show you

[chorus:]
You don't know me, don't ignore me
You don't want me there, you just shut me out
You don't know me, don't ignore me
If you had your way, you'd just shut me up
Make me go away...

(I'm so unwanted)

No, I just don't understand why you won't talk to me
It hurts
That I'm so unwanted for nothing
Don't talk words against me

I wanted to know ya
I wanted to show you

[chorus:]
You don't know me, don't ignore me
You don't want me there, you just shut me out
You don't know me, don't ignore me
If you had your way, you'd just shut me up
Make me go away...
Make me go away!

I tried to belong it didn't seem wrong
My head aches
It's been so long I'll write this song
If that's what it takes
Yeah, yeah, yeah...

[chorus:] [2x]
You don't know me, don't ignore me
You don't want me there, you just shut me out
You don't know me, don't ignore me
If you had your way, you'd just shut me up
Make me go away...

Make me go away, yeah, yeah...
Make me go away

Together Forever

Together, forever
that was our promise to each other
Do you still remember?
Now it seems you don't care
about the dreams we built together

Together forever
best friends forever and ever
But you wouldn't even bother
about the pain that I suffer

Always thought we'd be better
better as we grow older
Thought time would make us stronger
standing through every stormy weather

Watching us falter
growing farther apart from each other
the gap is getting wider
issues getting bigger
faith starting to waver
love turning to anger
cold gets even colder

Where do we go from here I wonder
can't even cry upon your shoulder
the ones you used to offer
A love I thought I'd have forever
when we promised each other...
TOGETHER FOREVER.

22

I don't know what to do
confused and alone again
is there something new?
Why can't I belong
not even between right or wrong?
Why am I here?
I know I'm not always wrong
but it seems that I could never do things right
What am I living for?
I see people dying everyday
at times like these how I envy them
Wishing that it was me instead
I don't give a damn of how many will grieve over me
coz I'm pretty sure there's none
they'd even be glad that I'm gone
I'm perplexed by the way things work
I'm neither even careful nor cautious
In fact I am careless
Why is accident trying to avoid me?
while I invite it openly
If I'm not such a chicken shit
I would have drawn that knife
straight through my heart
thrusting it deep until I bleed to death
and never would have reached twenty-two.